Remember! Remember!

In the 1960s, we sometimes got a peek into the specifically “English” way of life. In Belfast our “fireworks” night was Halloween but from TV and comics, we learned that Guy Fawkes Night (5th November) was their night…Fireworks and Bonfires.
And it seemed like more fun than our Halloween.
English children made a “guy” (an effigy in old clothes and face mask) and pestered passers-by with shouts of “Penny For the Guy”.
And on Bonfire Night the “guy” was burned.
Our parents and teachers were wary of this “English” fun. We were not to see it as fun.
Rather as one of the last vestiges of virulent English Anti-Catholicism.
The original Guy Fawkes was publicly executed in London in early 1606, for his part in the Gunpowder Plot…the Catholic plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament during its opening by King James I.
James was the unpopular Scottish choice to be King of England (and Scotland). The son of the executed Mary, Queen of Scots, he turned out not to be as sympathetic to England’s recusant Catholics as they had hoped.
And some well placed Catholic gentry in England plotted to kill him.

And it all went wrong. Fawkes was discovered with the gunpowder under the Houses of Parliament and under torture, revealed the names of his co-conspirators…most of whom had already fled London, they were arrested after a siege in the Midlands…one or two dying in the fire-fight.
And after a show-trial, the eight survivors were sentenced to the grisly death of being hanged, drawn and quartered. In fact, Guy Fawkes escaped the most gruesome aspect of his execution by ensuring he broke his own neck on the scaffold.

I have never had much time for English “recusancy” (those aristocratic English families who clung to the old Faith of Our Fathers …as in their hymn).
First of all they were aristocrats and under successive pre-Reformation regimes had a typically superior attitude to the colonisation of Ireland….aided and abetted by their own myth of Laudebiliter the papal bull (“papal bullshit” as Cardinal O’Fiach put it) that Ireland in some way “belongs” to England.
It may seem absurd but a lot of “English” Catholics, still believe that shite. No point mentioning that the Pope who dreamed this up was….er….English (Nicholas Breakspear).

So its all historic isnt it?
Well not quite. It is all surprisingly contemporary.
Guy Fawkes was from Yorkshire. Not actually born a Catholic around 1570….he became converted after the death of his father. And was radicalised to the extent that he went off to fight for (Catholic) Spain against (Protestant) Dutch…16th century religious wars.
The Catholic position then (absurd to Catholic nationalists and catholic democrats in 2013) was that Roman Canon Law trumped the national laws of England.
And young Catholic men …contemporaries of Guy Fawkes…..studied for the priesthood in France and Spain, before returning to England.
The extent to which radical Catholicism in the reign of Elizabeth I and James I was actually benign….peaceable religious men preaching Catholicism and being loyal to the monarch/country or sinister…religiously motivated zealots and terrorists …is too easily glossed over by England’s Catholics.
And please note here that I draw a distinction between “native” English Catholicism and the generations of Irish, Italian, German, Spanish, Philippine, migration which has supplemented.
English Catholicism has endured a fraught relationship with the English State…thru two more centuries before Emancipation in 1829.
But the English hierarchy has trouble with the concept of religious martyrs and political martyrs.
By any reasonable definition, Guy Fawkes and his co-conspirators are clearly “terrorists”.
By any reasonable definition, those innocent priests and lay people who died for their faith are victims of anti-Catholicism.
But there is a grey area where foreign educated priests talked of Elizabeth and James as heretics…English Jesuits being particuarly vitriolic.
And there is certainly a cross-over between Religion and Terrorism.

But it could not happen now, in the 21st Century.
Well on 7th July 2005, four young men from Yorkshire planted bombs in London. They killed around fifty people on the London Underground and on a London bus.
Terrorists? Certainly.
Religious fanatics? Yes but Islamic fanatics.
And had they been radicalised by clerics who claim that Sharia (Islamist) Law trumps national laws?
In 1605, the radical Catholic preachers condemned heretics.
In 2013, the radical Islamists talk of infidels.
No Yorkshire man goes to fight in religious wars on the continent like Guy Fawkes did….but they do fight in religious wars in Afghanistan and Somalia.
And no young men from Yorkshire study Theology in a seminary in France or Spain.
But they do learn Theology in a madras in Pakistan.

The story of Guy Fawkes is still very relevant.

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Mortgages…1690

My compliments to my Bank of choice for some thirty five years.
The Bank of Ireland.
1690

I am sure we all like the marketing ploy that involves the Ulster Rugby Team.
But did nobody on their marketing team notice that the telephone number includes the number “1690”!
It seems slightly offensive to nationalist customers, including myself to include the most contentious date in the “Ulster” calendar.
Can it really be so that nobody actually noticed?

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Don’t Mention The Diesel

On Monday night, Mrs Fitzjames Horse was out of town. She put some diesel in the car. She used a filling station that we may only have used a few times ever.
If you are reading this in Norn Iron, you will know what this Blog post is about.
If you are reading it in United States, you might wonder what the point is.
On Tuesday morning the car was difficult to start. The engine was noisy and before it kicked into action, a plume of smoke came thru the exhaust. She had the same problem, when she commenced her journey home.
When she did arrive home, I phoned our car dealer. And was told it sounded…like we expected…”dirty petrol”. It COULD be bad but at this stage no need for expensive analysis. As the tank was only half full, the advice was to top up the tank with good stuff. And this would dilute the bad stuff.
I dont know if there is any scientific basis to this advice but today Friday….it seems to have worked. Touch Wood.

But talking to people, including relatives over the past few days….there are a lot of anecdotes out there.
People told us that we should not use “Filling Station A” ….use “Filling Station B”. And then we are told that “B” is worse than “A”. During the week we were told a lot of contradictory information about a lot of filling stations.

Of course, it is entirely understandable that the most legitimate filling station will on occasions get a dodgy shipment of Petrol. Or that careless storage can contaminate petrol.
But of course Norn Iron has specific problems.
The Tax taken from petrol/diesel sales does not tally with miles driven. There is an alternative market in petrol/diesel and some of it sold in seemingly legitimate outlets.
Some Filling Station owners have either got desperate or greedy.
Customs conduct occasional raids on forecourts and well-publicised raids on illegal fuel plants.
It is generally believed that their “actions” are a small percentage of the “intelligence” that they have amassed.And that quiet and confidential settlements have been reached with a lot of people.
It is also assumed that (former?) paramilitaries are heavily involved and …as always…the Peace Process is more important than dealing with this problem.
Indeed there are many in Norn Iron who dont see this as a problem. Rather it is an opportunity to save a few pounds. To a family like ourselves, knowing little or nothing about cars…it is a problem. To people who know about cars or just keep their ear to the ground, it is completely different.

Of course, it is not just about fuel laundering. Or fuel smuggling. Or money laundering. Or soft or hard drugs.
Every smoker knows an alternative supplier for cigarettes, heavily taxed. Or indeed alcohol, heavily taxed.
Ice Cream vans playing a jingle at 11pm are a give-away. And of course, cigarettes made in and smuggled from Vietnam and China are not subject to quality control.

In any place that has a border, there is a problem with smuggling.
In any place that has a problem with legitimacy of government, there is a problem with “social banditry”.

Welcome to Norn Iron.

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Don’t Mention The Sectarian Chanting

Norn Iron’s Football League is of course a joke.
The standard is of course awful.
It is semi-professional because anybody who can actually play football, has been head-hunted to play in England.
Basically Football is poorly supported. Die-hard football fans will of course watch any game anywhere. And unhappily there are die-hard thugs who attach themselves to the bigger clubs.
While there is an old cliche that lesser teams are supported by one man and a dog or other teams will arrange kick off to facilitate the ten people who actually show up…the reality is that the big teams are watched on a regular basis by at most 2,000 people.
The big teams in 2013…Linfield, very much the establishment Belfast team and the only one that actually has a credible stadium in South Belfast (it doubles as the home of Norn Irons pathetic so called national team)…Glentoran from East Belfast and Cliftonville from North Belfast.
Linfield and Glentoran are supported by unionists and to their own surprise Cliftonville has emerged as the team favoured by the city’s Nationalists.

Since Belfast Celtic from West Belfast were forced out of the Norn Iron League…victims of sectarianism circa 1949, Belfasts nationalists have had no team to support…except to rally round the team that isnt Linfield.
In my day (1960s) Distillery were the team that briefly challenged Linfields supremacy.
Now it is Cliftonville.
Yet part of the attraction …to the annoyance of the football establishment and genuine fans…of Norn Iron football ?.is naked sectarianism.
Certainly the average Catholic-nationalist football fan has little regard for Norn Irons “national” team. It is too tainted by the squalid sectarianism of its fans.
Genuine efforts by authorities to deal with the problem are really too little and too late.
Players from nationalist backgrounds such as Darren Gibson, James McClean and Marc Wilson are now regular internationals for …the Republic of Ireland.

In truth, watching Manchester United play Barcelona on a cold wet February night …in front of a roaring fire…is actually a better option than watching Bangor play Ballymena United with the proverbial one man and his dog.
Thus when Linfield played Cliftonville on Tuesday night, there was little chance that the football would matter.
The Linfield crowd sang Orange songs.
The Cliftonville crowd sang IRA songs.
It was so bad…that the referee asked for a public address message …urging an end to the chanting.

The odd thing is that TV commentators reporting on Norn Iron international matches…have chosen not to mention the very audible anti-catholic chants directed not at the opposing team but the Catholics on theN Orna Iron team.
The truth is that sectarianism in a football ground is usually ignored.
But the European authorities are interested.
The collapse of the Communist bloc has unleashed a vicious neo-Nazi and racist element in football grounds in Russia, Serbia, Poland and other places.
Black footballers are routinely abused and European football authorities are at last threatening that matches be played behind closed doors…a much more credible sanction than pathetic fines.

The prospect of European Footballing authorities taking an interest in Linfield and Cliftonville seems far-fetched but the prospect of a matched being played behind closed doors is bad news for cash-strapped football clubs…and the one man with the dog.

Yet the headline from the Linfield-Cliftonville match is the sectarian chanting. But the notion peddled by a newspaper journalist yesterday that fans dont want to be reading this kind of headline over the last couple of years is only half the story.
if Journalists had tackled a problem which is as old as I am years ago….then maybe the problem would have been addressed..

NORMALISATION? We deal with problems by pretending they dont exist.

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How Journalism Works?

So the Phone Hacking Trial started last week. A couple of journos have already decided to plead guilty.
But interestingly the Trial revealed today that the two star defendants Rebekkah Brooks and Andy Coulson were having an affair for six years.
That would be two editors on Rupert Murdochs tabloid empire…Brooks ( The Sun and News of the World) and Coulson (News of the World). Coulson of course was press secretary to David Cameron in Opposition AND in Government.
That would be the same Rebekkah who likes to go riding (no sniggering please) with David Cameron.
Luckily David was not in the position of knowing that his Press Secretary (surely vetted by Security) and his riding companion (seriously stop sniggering) were lovers.
Worse none of the journalists at News International knew that their bosses were having an affair. Or maybe they did know and showed remarkable restraint in knowing about the goings on of public figures….and not spreading it all over their sleazy little tabloids.
On the other hand, thats TWO stories they actually missed because no journalist at News International seems to have noticed that there was a scandal involving Phone Hacking going on in their own newsroom.
Nor does any journalist in any other newspaper or broadcasting organisation seem to have noticed this juicy story.
Maybe Dog doesn’t eat Dog.
But if Brooks was a minor actress in “Eastenders” or Coulson was a midfielder for Chelsea…then would they have been fair game for the News International newsroom.

Journalists are squealing about the new “Royal” Charter designed to …as journalists put it….putting them under the control of Politicians.
Nonsense of course.
Journalists have (as Leveson reports)they exceeded Decency to reveal secrets and they protect their own secrets.
Meanwhile yet another BBC man jailed today for Sex Offences. Twenty Two years.

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#15 Years On

I cant believe that I have headlined a post with a hashtag.
Thoroughly Modern Me.

But yesterday I noticed the hashtag…#15yearson appear on Twitter. Seemingly there was a big pow-wow at Dublin Castle yesterday, where anyone who thinks they are anyone gathered to discuss The Good Friday Agreement.
And I see that today Richard Haass has gone to Dublin, where he will meet the Irish Government. That seems reasonable.
But he will also meet a new “Peace Group” called “15 Years On”.
I googled them. Cant find anything about membership.

So who are they? On the face it, the last thing we need is one more Peace Group with that sense of ENTITLEMENT that gives them access to Governments etc.
Does Platform for Change have this access.
Is “15 Years On” engaged in a turf war with Platform for Change to be the most prominent Overclass bunch of ambitious academics and quango careerists on the LetsGetAlongerist Street.
Has Platform for Change failed to get out of its South Belfast Ghetto?
Is the LetsGetAlongerist so called-centre ground fragmented and now looking just a bit too crowded to be effective?
We have already seen NI21 launch as a challenge to the undemocratic Alliance Party….and the Greens and Conservatives are nibbling there. Ian Parsley for example has trouble working out if he is a Conservative or Alliance and other people are floating around between Labour NI and Green.
But does the fact that PFC are confined to the margins account for the self-righteous hissy fits we see?

Speaking for myself, I would like to meet Richard Haass. I dont have anything that I want to say to him. But I want to pose for a photograph to put on Facebook. And I would like to add meeting Richard Haass to my unimpressive CV and maybe even sign up to LinkedIn.
At the moment I am an amateur poser but given the right encouragement I could be as professional poser as the folks in Platform for Change.

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Don’t Mention The War #1

Only in Belfast.
One of the great tourist attractions in the City over the past few years is Crumlin Road Prison.
Genuinely historic of course and more so because of the Troubles. Indeed it is iconic in “Republican” history. Tom Williams was hanged here in the 1940s and his body only re-patriated to the Republican Plot in Milltown Cemetry in West Belfast a few years ago.

Ironically it faces on to the heartland of Protestantism in the Lower Crumlin and Lower Shankill. A tunnel under the Crumlin Road linked the prison to the Courthouse.

But it has become an unlikely visitor attraction. Especially for the Republican/Catholic community who identify with the privations there much more than the Unionist/Protestant community for whom it was a symbol of (their) Law and (their) Order.
Of course as well as being of political significance, it was also home to non-political killers, car thieves, wife-beaters, drunks and fraudsters.

I cant say I see the fascination except as a place of pilgrimage…and that actually points up the DUP attitude to The Maze-Long Kesh site becoming a “shrine to terrorism”

Yesterday, Crumlin Road Prison got Visitor #100,000….and his wife. An elderly couple from (I think) County Offaly in the Republic.
And there to mark the occasion was Peter Robinson, the First Minister of Norn Iron. And Jennifer McCann, the Sinn Fein MLA who is Junior Minister to Martin McGuinness.
And the Stormont Press Officers, who have arranged the photo opportunity, hand over bouquets of flowers to Robbo and Jenny, who hand them over to Mr and Mrs Visitor.
All very predictable.
But this is Norn Iron. The Press is there and they get to do interviews with Robbo and Jenny, while nervy advisors stand around.
See….Peter Robinson, the First Minister of Norn Iron has been here before. More than once. He was committed to prison for an illegal demonstration or whatever…and would not pay the fine. A big act of principle no doubt. Unfortunately he had forgotten that he had his wallet with him and the court officials simply took the money he owed out of the wallet…as Peter said, he did not make that mistake the second and third time. All very amusing but not easy to see Peter Robinson as Nelson Mandela.

And then it was the turn of Jennifer McCann MLA for West Belfast. She too had briefly been an inmate. …in the holding cells and taken thru the tunnel under the Crumlin Road for her Court appearances.
A reasonable journalist might have wanted to know more. But alas the Norn Iron journalists are on-message and dont want to be black-listed by the Stormont Press Officers.
But just to set the record straight…Jennifer McCann was found guilty at her trial and sentenced to twenty years….for shooting a policeman.
I dont suppose Mr & Mrs Visitor were given this information about the woman handing over the bouquet, when the Press Officers set up the photo-opportunity. And more than likely, they would have been unconcerned. It might even have added a sense of occasion.
Let me make it clear, I am not in any way bothered by Jenny’s conviction. She was elected…democratically in West Belfast in 2007 …the same election at which I was (still) giving my #1 vote to her Sinn Fein colleague in another constituency.
If I lived in West Belfast in 2007, more than likely Jenny would have got a vote from me.
What niggles me is that I am old enough to know her history.
And that increasingly new voters…probably anyone under thirty years of age dont know this kinda stuff.
Of course, you may legitimately say that it is no longer relevant.
And I can legitimately say that History is always relevant.
Surely we can all say that there are vested interests here…DUP and Sinn Fein, allegedly enemies! who conspire with each other and the Press and indeed the Irish and British Governments to ensure nobody ever points this kinda thing out to the Public.
Our feel-good narrative is all that matters.
And their jobs, of course.

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Dolores Fiasco Is Good For SDLP

Dolores Kelly is the Deputy Leader of the SDLP, the Party of which I am a member. She is also the sole SDLP MLA in my constituency.
Being Deputy Leader of the Party suggests #2 in the Party hierarchy In fact she is a long way down it.
Alasdair McDonnell, Conall McDevitt, Patsy McGlone and Alex Attwood, who contested the Leadership in 2011, all outranked her. So do the Party’s MPs Margaret Ritchie and Mark Durkan, both former Leaders.
Mark’s nephew, confusingly Mark H Durkan is the new Minister for the Environment and Joe Byrne a delegate to the Haass talks is also further up the ladder. Alex Attwood is the candidate for Europe. Karen McKevitt, the party’s only other MLA is assistant to Mark H.

Of course, Conall is now out of Politics but that has only made Dolores position weaker. The new MLA, Fergus McKinney is a key advisor to Alasdair.
Dolores does of course have friends in the Party, not least in the Womens Group but she has managed to weaken it by agreeing to be a judge for Miss Ulster last weekend. Thankfully she had the sense to pull out of this “personality” pageant when it was pointed out that the women would all be aged 18-24, have a dress size between 8 and 14 (or whatever) and all be above 5ft 7inches.
How all of that is a requirement for PERSONALITY, I just dont understand. Nor will the SDLP Womens Group like Brenda Stevenson, Bernie Kelly, Claire Hanna and Sharon Haughey have been impressed.
Dolores defence seems to be based on the fact she did not know about the entry requirements. Can she really have been a judge in 2011??? I dont know…maybe she thought she was selecting a very personable basketball team.
Whether or not she was a judge in 2011…it still displays appalling judgement.
The Media have generally portrayed Dolores as a disloyal Deputy Leader. I would expect this display of bad judgement will ensure Dolores faces a challenge for Deputy Leadership (from Colm Eastwood?) in 2014. She can hardly play the Womens Card.
More likely the contest will be between Colm and Alex Attwood, possibly buoyed by his performance in European Elections.

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LetsGetAlongerists With Attitude

Here’s a strange thing.
Over on Slugger O’Toole, “Alan” posted a promo for a Platform for Change event at the end of November.
And it gave a welcome opportunity for PFCs many critics (ok theres usually just two of us) to engage in some gentle ribbing of the leading LetsGetAlongerist, elitist academic “think tank”.
But this time a few extra people joined in…giving the thread a longevity. It would normally have.
Platform for Change people are a bit like the British Royal Family. They are above politics and only talk to their peers.
So a pleasant surprise that one of their leading members got a.bit pissed off at the snide remarks about a wonderful organisation like PFC. Its a bit like “Princess Anne” turning on a journalist.
My point that PFC people are unelectable might be underscored by the fact that the PFC person is currently a member of the Green Party…having left the only slightly more risible Labour NI folks a year or so ago.
The vaguely LetsGetAlongerist nature of PFC underscored by the support of a poster who has been in the Alliance Party, Conservative Party and back again with Alliance….although he might since have left.
The last PFC event on Integrated Education was a bit of a damp squib. And I wonder if the tide has finally turned against LetsGetAlongerism…Slugger has tended to promote PFC, Ecumenism, Conflict Resolution and daft cross-border nonsense.
So I wonder if the intemperate (to me) comments of the PFC person on Slugger is an indication that their sense of entitlement is being de-railed a bit.
I wonder did they try and get a meeting with Richard Haass and get turned down or have they stopped getting invites to meet NIO ministers and civil servants?
When I first used the term “LetsGetAlongerists” in 2010, I meant it purely as a statement of fact that it represents a dubious philosophy based on nothing other than getting along in a homogenous and liberal unionist Norn Iron.
There might well be a crisis in LetsGetAlongerism. They have been under the radar a long time and the Alliance Party, the leading PARTY POLITICAL advocates of LetsGetALongerism is now a little toxic because of its role as the client of DUP-Sinn Fein at Stormont. And of course the political field is now just a little too crowded with NI21 launching in the summer….competing with Alliance, Greens, Conservatives and Labour NI (not that Labour NI is a serious political party).
People have adopted it as an insult….fair enough.
And now embrace the insult as a badge of honour.
And now seem to have “attitude”
I await the first group of letsGetAlongerist rappers.

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Dolores Kelly Should Know Better

I am a member of SDLP. I rarely use this Blog to criticise colleagues. But as Stormont will be the venue horse some nonsensical pageant….where young women will be judged on looks and personality, I can only condemn Dolores Kelly, Deputy Leader of the party for agreeing to be a judge.
It has already been described as the “Lovely Girls Competition”, the Father Ted episode which effectively means that we can no longer take the annual three night “Rose of Tralee” contest seriously.

Apparently Basil McCrea MLA is a judge but let’s be honest, nobody takes him seriously as a politician, least of all himself.
It is exactly the kind of thing Basil would do.

But Dolores Kelly …act your age. Last year, Dolores made a. Speech to the SDLP Annual Conference. The young woman, who introduced her to the podium, praised her as a role model for her generation of politicians. She was described as a “mentor”. Indeed Dolores in her speech paid tribute to her own mentor, Brid Rodgers.

The SDLP has a decent record in promoting women. Margaret Ritchie has led the Party. Brid and Dolores have been Deputy Leaders. There are some pretty formidable operators like Bernie Kelly, Nichola Mallon, Sharon Haughey, Brenda Stevenson and Claire Hanna. just what they and the SDLP Womens Group make of it all, I cant comprehend.

Does it really fall to a 61 year old dinosaur like myself to say this is a very bad idea? Does it really need spelling out that the Personality aspect of the contest does not stand scrutiny. That having a minimum height requirement of 5ft 7inches to even enter the contest suggests that women under that height cant have a personality. That would rule out Dolores.
To be honest…if height was a requirement for Personality, I would not have one.

Dolores…catch yourself on!!!

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