What Does The Butchers Apron Mean To You?

I can’t remember if South Sudan is the 193rd or 194th country in the United Nations. Most have…even since 1945… Have been a colony of another nation…..At random, Dominican Republic, Angola, Algeria, Estonia, India, Phillipines, Poland have all been “owned” by a foreign imperial power.

It follows therefore that citizens of most of the worlds nations get a particular buzz out of the symbolism of a national flag. It is of course too glib to dismiss a national flag as a mere symbol….the really important thing is what is being symbolised.

On balance, in OFFICIAL terms, there is little shameful about the National Flag of Ireland. From 1848, it has been the flag of “republican” Ireland…significantly modelled on the flag of France and was comparatively little known in “nationalist” Ireland prior to 1916. Of course, the aspiration of peace (white) between Gael (green) and Planter (orange) is unreal….thnp flag has been over-used as a “partisan” flag in Norn Iron…..but nevertheless in global terms it is respected….

Indeed it’s marginalization in Norn Iron, where it will never appear on a Belfast hotel, never mind any official building endears me to it. I see no reason to change it except of course in the context of a United or Agreed (as we must pay lip service to that notion) Ireland.

The same respect cannot be afforded to the British flag. It has flown over ships transporting convicts from England to Botany Bay. It has flown over ships transporting slaves from West Africa to the Carolinas. It has flown over concentration camps in South Africa. It flew over the courthouse where the enquiry into the Amritsar Massacre was held….and the Coleraine courthouse where Widgery conducted the enquiry into Bloody Sunday.

Then and Now? Hardly. No amount of wrapping the British flag around Mo Farrah and Jessica Ennis can wipe out its history and baggage as the Butchers Apron.

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I Pity The (April) Fool

I don’t actually remember the classic BBC Panorama “April Fool” prank where Richard Dimbleby reported on the Italian spaghetti harvest. I have of course see footage of it. I do recallBBC Nationwides Luke reply reporting on the Oirish builders who had built a house upside down….lights onthe floor rather than the ceiling….because they had the plans upside down. That was a classic, not least because of the gullibility of the English viewers who were rather too eager to believe in Oirish stupidity in the 1970s.

Thats the trouble with April Fools Day. Every media outlhas feels obliged to do a “spaghetti harvest” type prank. I have not seen any of today’s newspapsome or TV news ….but I bet some serious thought has gone into producing a classic. The problem in 2013 is that so much news seems like a parody.

Hard therefore for a blogger to keep up with pranks. Any unlikely story should be checked against the dateline. Is there really an Ulster-England Agency as announced on Ian Parsley (politician, business man and linguist) blog? I have no idea but it cannot be any more absurd than the Ulster-Scots Agency. Actually I was hoping that Mr Parsleys blog would tell us that he had joined yet another political party (we would have fallen for that) or that he or someone he knows well will be the next Alliance candidate in East Antrim…..now that would be hilarious. LikEurope European Union or Barak Obama getting the Nobel Peace Prize. Oh wait…those things were real.

I dunno. Is Rathlin Wine (Slugger O’Toole today) for real? What can Slugger do to prank us….a Belfast Telegraph Life and Times Survey perhaps? No Slugger only fool themselves with that one.

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1745…The Mini Series

I sometimes get the impression that I am living my life back to front. Things that I am doing in my twilight years should really have been done years ago.

Later this week, I will be making some radio appearances …I have the perfect face for radio. I will be discussing a script “wot I have wrote” as Mr Ernie Wise might have put it. An announcement about production will be made in Inverness later in the month. Nicola Sturgeon the SNP Deputy to Alec Salmond and possibly Caral NI Chulin will be there…and auto correct is not kind to Caral….apologies.

As you might have gathered, this is actually a ten part part mini series on the Jacobite Rebellion of 1745. Originally entitled “Rising” ….it will simply be called “45”. Some scenes will be filmed in the Glens of Antrim, which apparently looks fore like Scotland than Scotland does. And Irish actors will be featured.

It has always been a bit surprising to me that the 1745 Rebellion has never been the subject of a major movie. But the 1963 Culloden docudrama is available in its entirity on YouTube.

I can imagine that my tweedy Jacobite”friends” will have mixed feelings. Bonnie Prince Charlie, the shrunken serial abuser of women, will not be seen in a good light. It is not “shortbread tin history”.

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Paradigm

I blame The Big Bang Theory.

For some peculiar reason the word “paradigm” is popping up all over the place. And it made its first appearance on this Blog today. I urge punters NOT to use it. I hate it.

Thank you.

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Meath East

Yesterday’s by-election.

Fine Gael held on to the seat. Low turn out which causes the political overclass “too posh to voteTompkins think that None of the Above or Apathy won.

Alas it was Fine Gael…the Blueshirts. You couldn’t love them if you reared them.

Sinn Fein did no more than ok …no breakthrough…except they have now become the leading left wing party in the Republic of Ireland. They came third. And a credible day out for Direct Democracy Ireland…although they appear to be little more than anti-European and to the right. They came fourth.

But a good day out for Fianna Fáil who came a good second …just two years after the melt down of 2011. They are helped by three things…all of the worst elements of cute hopoloitics were culled in 2011..Micheal Martin is a patently decent man…and the working class have deserted Labour. Journalists who are of course great believers in their own moral superiority hate Fianna Fáil. To the cultured elite in Dublin 4…and there is nothing more cultured than a Dublin West Brit journo ….FF represents everything that is wrong with Ireland. So of course the Dublin media and bloggers will be mortified that the public are turning once again to the go been men. Fianna Fáil were supposed to be unelectable for generations.

But what about Labour? Well…I am a good socialist so I should LIKE Labour. On the other hand I am a good socialist and despise their Workers Party/Democratic Left/Official Sticky careerist entryist leadership like the obnoxious Gilmore and Rabbitte. All of a sudden it is Labour who face the wrath of their electorate who will go to Sinn Fein, Fianna Fáil or the maverick socialists. Labour finished fifth and they deserve the humiliation.

They brought it on themselves. They might like to think that their presence in coalition with red-fanged Blueshirts mitigates the pain of austerity for the working class. Actually they are seen as providing cover for the worst elements of unrestrained Fine Gael.

Lets be honest …Fine Gael will get no flak from their own core voters for acting like…Fine Gael. But Labour can expect flak for NOT acting like Labour. Except of course this is EXACTLY how Labour acts in government. Having gained strength on Opposition benches and making elaborate promises, they get to a junior coalition partner and get hammered at the next election.

They will take a hammering next time…and go back to the Dail as a rump. And in ten years time they will be back in government again …as a junior partner. Thats how they are.

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Is That George Lee On “Prime Time”.

Ah George Lee…don’t ya just love him?

For ages he was the RTE Economics Editor. And suddenly he decided he wanted to be a politician…for Fine Gael. At the Dublin by-election caused by the death of Seamus Brennan, in June 2009…he won the seat. Sprinkling a little celebrity stardust along the way.

So elected to represent all of his constituents, just eight months later he…resigned. Not exactly a stayer? Well no…he was disappointed that he was being under-used by Enda Kenny and the Fine Gael front bench.

Luckily for George Lee had not resigned from RTE. It was a leave of absence. So just after a year from being elected George (ex-Fine Gael TD) was back in the RTE fold. So that’s alright then. He is doing the journalist thing on RTE. No problem with that…we are all entitled to a mid-life crisis.

But here’s the thing. Can you imagine a situation where a high profile public figure…lets say a sportsperson ….goes into politics, gets elected and resigns after just eight months….and the Media do not crucify him/her? But Are journalists crucifying George Lee for doing this?

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Sins Of The Neices

Breaking News on Sky …the father of two former England footballing brothers has been arrested by police investigating an indecent assault. There are no charges.

I dare say that it is a sad fact that many people are arrested over indecent assault and I dare say in many cases there arrest charge. Few are “Breaking News” on Sky TV. Indecent assault is a terrible thing…and to be arrested must also be pretty traumatic …especially if there are no charges.

What makes this “newsworthy” on tabloid television news is the connexion to two more famous footballers…whose names are reported even though they have not been arrested. One brother will likely be playing in front of 30,000 people at the weekend. It is likely that an element in the crowd will seek to discomfort the player by drawing attention to his fathers arrest.

Its what football crowds do. Think John Terry. Think John Terry’s mother and the shoplifting incident.

Journalism at its worst or simply “news”. It seems that the arrest of their father hnot nothing to do with the brothers.

Thats tabloid television. Some tabloid blogging on Slugger O’Toole by Sheldon. Yesterday an actress called Aoife Madden (me neither but she is on IMDb) was jailed in London for five years…fraud.

She is the neice of Conor Murphy Sinn Fein MP for Newry-Armagh. Which begs the question as to why some media outlets report the connexion and others don’t. Is Mr Murphy his neice’s keeper. She is 31 years old for Gods sake. If he ever baby sat her its a long time ago.

There is of course a case for saying that Sheldon is merely pointing out the different treatment that this story is given. There is even a case for saying that I am doing the same. And there is a case for saying that there is a lot of er…criminality connected to Sinn Fein but this hardly fits the bill this time.

There is even a case for saying that Sheldon who is at heart a troll is stirring things up a bit. Throwing a bone for Sluggers partisans to chew…and he will hand out yellow and red cards from the moral high ground.

And there is a case that Catholics/republicans/nationalists like me are children of a lesser GOD and more prone to immorality and criminality than our Protestant and unionist neighbours. This is not an enlightened view but one that has a lot of currency in the sectarian cesspit of Norn Iron.

And there’s a case to be made that Sheldon doesn’t like Sinn Fein very much and has seized upon an event to rather enthusiastically embarrass Sinn Fein.

I am rather thankful that I cannot be held responsible for the behaviour of my extended family. Yet it should be no bar to me entering public life. Unless Sheldon is on the case.

Yet Glass Houses and Stones. The lesson for all Bloggers is keep an eye on nephews anot neices. Karma is a bitch.

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“When A New Band Of Journalistic Brothers…”

I am sure you are all as upset as I am that the Press Lodge No 432…in the world of Irish Freemasonry ….closed shop nearly two years ago and held its final meeting in May 2011….ending their supper with the “National Anthem sung in traditional Press fashion”….I am assuming that it is the British National Anthem.

It would have been nice to have been there to hear of the many connexions between the Press Lodge and the Belfast Telegraph. And maybe we could have caught sight of Brother Malcom Brodie, who died earlier this year. He outlived the Press Lodge. Brodie was a “mason”…who would have guessed?

So the Press Lodge is no more. Im sorry to see it go. But it will be re-formed “when a new band of journalistic brothers” wants one.

I wonder how Masonry is doing these days. The PSNI are not exactly enthusiastic about it. Maybe its old hat these days. Or should I say “old apron”. Are there no “secret shakers” left in Stormont? Except Yer Man (which explains much). Does the DUP approve? I cant see many Sinn Féin members (they …ahem …dont do secret stuff).

So the way is open for a Bloggers Lodge in Arthur Square. Mr BangorDub (ie Brother Dub) will be our first Worshipful Master. “Hobo”, “Seamus”, “Mick”, “Football Cliches”  and my good self will be a new band of brothers.

By the way…….how do Journalists sing the (British) National Anthem?

 

 

 

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Unionist Outreach RIP

When a LetsGetAlongerist discussion board /weblog spends most of its time in a futile search for nationalist unicorns, it can hardly be surprising that it is enthusiastic  about Mike Nesbitt and Peter Robinson reaching out to pro-union Catholics. Alas Unionist Outreach was strangled at birth by its parents. The naked sectarianism in last years marching season and of course the Flegs dispute makes any debate over Unionist Outrach totally risible.

To those of us who recall Terence O ‘Neills Unionist Outreach  in the 1960s it was all inevitable. Unionist Outreach was always nonsense. Unionist Outreach RIP.

LetsGetAlongerists will abandon Nesbitt and Robinson and rally round Basil McCrea and John McCallister. Although the McUnionists seem a bit lethargic. They need a good lobbying company. Any ideas?

As a parting shot to Catholics….Peter Robinson has urged people not to read the Irish News, Norn Irons main daily newspaper and the newspaper of choice of Norn Irons Catholics. Wherever Robbo intends to reach out …it will not be in the pages of the Irish News.

If I was Noel Doran…and I’m not….I would actually use the Robbo quote in my advertising. It would surely increase circulation. Indeed if I wasn’t boycotting newspapers because of Leveson revelations, I would be tempted to buy the Irish News.

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Break In Transmission

Apologies for the break in service. Normal Service should be restored in a couple of days.

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