Champions!

Manchester United…Champions for the TWENTIETH Time.

And Celtic yesterday.

Happy Days.

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Suarez Bites Yer Elbow

As a Manchester United fan, I am supposed to have a default for Liverpool FC. But I dont. As I have said before at the time of the Munich Air Crash, only two clubs offered help to Old Trafford. Nottingham Forest and…Liverpool. So the fans of both clubs who insult each other so viciously …dont know their own clubs histories.

Liverpool FC behaved extremely badly …and unwisely …when they defended Luis Saurez far too vociferously …and wrongly…when he racially abused Patrice Evra about eighteen months ago. The Anfield Club got a lot of bad publicity and lost a lot of friends.

Today Saurez bit a Chelsea player. Suarez had already been yellow-carded. The referee did not see the “biting incident” and Suarez stayed on the pitch…and scored a last minute equaliser.

In fairness Liverpool have learned from their previous mistake. They have said that it was conduct inappropriate for a player wearing a Liverpool shirt. Suarez has also apologised.

Inevitably Luis Suarez will face a lengthy ban. And hard to see that he can pick up any end-of-season award even if he does have a claim on being Footballer of thevYear.

But how exactly can Liverpool deal with him? Players and their Agents hold all the cards. Whatever about bringing the club into disrepute, Suarez can simply sign for another club. Maybe even Manchester United.

It is in the nature of football fans to be tribal. The Liverpool fans on the radio phone-ins think Suarez must be forgiven by the Club. He is after all their best player. And curiously they think that he is being victimised by the media.

And yet it has to be said that Liverpool fans and more broadly Liverpudlians have a very odd sense of victimhood. Today before the Chelsea game, they honoured recently deceased, Anne Williams, the Hillsborough campaigner who fought tirelessly for the ninety-six Liverpool fans killed that day. Liverpool fans rarely mention that twenty odd fans of Juventus died before a European match…after a riot involving Liverpool fans.

Liverpool fans urgently need a sense of Reality. And Perspective.

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Berrnie Ecclestone: Human Rights Activist

I used to like Formula One Racing.

The 1960s…you had to be there. Sunday afternoon and the great European Grand Prixs were broadcast live via Eurovision. It was grainy black and white of course and Ramond Baxter was the commentator. Ex-RAF of course. Very BBC.

Jack Brabham, Jim Clark, John Surtees, Graham Hill, Jochen Rindt.

Then there  was the 1970s….Murray Walker commentating, colour TV, sponsored teams.

Clay Regazzoni, Chris Amon, Jackie Ickx, Ronnie Peterson, Emerson Fittipaldi.

Motor Racing was easily understood. Works teams…Brabham, BRM, Ferrari, Cooper, Lotus and some semi-works teams like Rob Walker and out and out privateers like Bob Anderson, Jo Bonnier and Guy Ligier. Some outstanding drivers like Chris Amon and Jo Siffert worked their way thru from the bottom.

Of course the heartland of European motor racing was France/Monaco, Italy, Germany, Britain, Belgium and Holland…the old imperial nations, with outreach to Latin and North America.

Clearly it was a rich mans sport…for Cavaliers rather than Roundheads…for heirs to fortunes like Peter Revson and Piers Courage. Elitist. Attractive. Romantic. Glamourous.

I don’t know when I turned against Formula One. Probably mid 1970s. James Hunt and his unlovely sponsor, young Tory peer “Lord” Hesketh came across as little more than “hooray Henry’s” of the worst kind. Glamour is one thing…Sexism is another. The privateers were priced out of motor racing.

I find Formula One boring and uninteresting. It’s supporters seem to sign up to a world view that I find repulsive. And Bernie Ecclestone supermodel of Formula One is surely one of the most repulsive men on the Planet…outside of North Korea.

His never ending search to enrich himself has brought the Formula One Circus to China and Bahrain. And the annual Bahrain Grand Prix is always overshadowed by an annual debate as to whether it is acceptable to hold a Grand Prix in a country with a dubious record on human rights.

Bernie Ecclestone is unapologetic and bullish. Today he bluntly states that he doesn’t know what human rights are. All he understands is that countries make laws and people should obey them.

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SDLP: The Next Generation

SDLP Youth hold their annual Conference in Derry next weekend. The Youth Group are scarily good…and eight of them made it on to the full Party Executive in November last year.

Back in 1973/74 I tried to interest the SDLP in a Youth Section and despite one meeting I called in West Belfast (a young man called Alban Magennis was among seven people who showed up) and presenting my case to the Partys Organisation Committe at the Dunowen Restaurant in Dungannon…nothing happened.

It was the 1980s and I had left SDLP before the Youth Group actually got off the ground. So it does my old heart a lot of good to see that the Next Generation are so strong within the Party. Among those “boldly going” is Cliona McCarney who is running for SDLP Youth Vice Chair. Cliona is from South Belfast and just finishing her first year at Queens University. I am happy to endorse her campaign.

In November I walked into the Armagh City Hotel just as Cliona was about to make a speech to Conference. She was simply brilliant.

Cliona2

Mol an Óige agus tiocfaidh sí!    Encourage Youth and It will Thrive!

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How The Irish Saved….Belfast

Ian Parsley, the politician, businessman and linguist who was previously a member of the Alliance Party and the UCNUCFCPF and is now back with Alliance…all since 2009….makes a fair point when he blogs that loyalists and republicans get more out of their parades when the other side actually opposes it.

Mr Parsley draws attention to the “innately sectarian” commemorations such as the annual Easter Rising (nationalist) and Centenary of the Ulster Covenant (unionist). He is of  course right (as a LetsGetAlongerist would see it). But seemingly he blogs this in the context of “UVF 1913″ flags going up along the route of  proposed parade celebrating the centenary of the paramilitary organisation. This parade will be in East Belfast, where it will antagonise very very few nationalists. But it will keep the pot boiling in East Belfast where the Alliance Party (of which he is currently a member) is coming under pressure since the Flegs Dispute erupted under the Alliance Party in December 2012.

In this particular case, Loyalism and LetsGetAlongerism are in confrontation” and Mr Parsleys sense of wonder that there will be no commemoration of the 72nd anniversary of the Belfast Blitz by the Germans in 1941…is perhaps LetsGetAlongerists reaching out for their “own” event.

In fact …in wondering why there IIs no commemoration…Mr Parsley answers his own question. It is the SEVENTY SECOND anniversary…72nd….#72. It carries no more import than the 71st or the 73rd. And it doesn’t really match up to the UVF Centenary.

However as Historians scrape the bottom of the barrel to help LetsGetAlongerists and their friends in Conflict Resolution to find “shared history”, it is fair to say that the Belfast Blitz of 1941 is actually authentic.

Like all shared History….World War Two ….has two versions.

The Irish were shamefully neutral is the unionist version while noble Netherlands, Norway, Belgium and plucky little Luxembourg rallied to the anti-fascist cause. Well not quite true. They were all as neutral as Ireland, until the Germans invaded them. But the United States rallied to the British cause…well no …they SOLD or LEASED Aid Ansd kept out of the War until December 1941 when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbour.

The British would happily have invaded the Republic to get its hands on the Irish ports which they had had to hand back to Ireland before War broke out.

More “Irishmen” actually fought for Britain than “loyal”Ulster types but don’t mention that to Unionists. There was no conscription in Norn Iron …the only part of the DisUnited Kingdom where it did not apply. Whole West Belfast Catholics would have been hard to round up, East Belfast Protestants were no more enthusiastic…..after all their fathers, uncles and big brothers had already paid the ultimate price in the Battle of the Somme in 1916. F@@k that for a Game of Soldiers.

Ah but Unionists will claim they were helping the war effort by building ships….well yes but they don’t builds many ships in inland towns like Ballymena and Portadown. Ah but there was the “enemy within” all those disloyal Catholics who could rise up and kill ….so an army of B Specials was required to ride bikes thru the Norn Iron countryside looking out for German Paras aided and abetted by IRA people. And of course there was all that Fire Watching….standing around on the roof at Mackies Foundary looking out for German incendiaries….which never came after May 1941.

Yet for all the Mythology of Norn Irons War Effort, the Belfast Blitz of April-May 1941 was a very real thseries and a tragic series of nights which killed over one thousand people.

In April 1941, Belfast despitn being a major shipbuilding centre was in fact an extremely easy target for the GermanLuftwaffe. The city was poorly protected and all the German bombers had to do was fly from France and follow the course of Belfast Lough, drop their bombs and go home. People…Catholics and Protestants took to the hills…literally people from the Falls Road and Shankill Road camped up on Divis Mountain. The Dublin Fire Service went north to help put out the inferno.

Of course a NUETRAL country sending its fire service into a war zone is a pretty average breach of neutrality. Indeed the Irish Government warned the Nazis that an attack on Belfast was an attack on IRISH territory….and the odd thing is that the Germans never bombed Belfast after May 1941. The Germans hardly feared the might of the Irish Army but they DID fear Britain getting access to the Irish ports to fight the U Boat threat.

Now you might think that having the de facto protection of the Irish nation ….that unionists might be grateful that after  a few nights of the blitz….Belfast was unmolested.

Sadly…no. Predictably…no.

Unionists prefer to talk about Irish betrayal of the Mother Country…Britain. They prefer to talk about Irish compliance with neutrality long after it was necessary for the protection of Ireland, including the North. De Valera was criticised for visiting the German Embassy in Dublin to express condolences at the death of Hitler in April 1945. But that is surely as honourable as neutral Latin American countries declaring war on Germany when the war was already won.

The Belfast Blitz is very much part of Belfast History and indeed it’s folklore but inventing a commemoration around its 72nd anniversary just to promote LetsGetAlongerism is not appropriate…not even to take the heat off the Alliance Party in East Belfast.

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John Smyth Junior

John Smyth junior sounds like an interesting person.

Jailed yesterday for petrol bombing a house occupied by some Polish people. In other words he is either a racist or sectarian scumbag. But unusually he was a DUP candidate at the 2011 Council Elections. Didn’t I read something on Slugger O’Toole about DUP reaching out to Catholics. Seems an odd way to go about it.

Still we will probably read about his three year jail sentence on Slugger today. They maybe haven’t just gotten round to it yet. Like the obituary for James Kelly.

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“Accordin’ To My Da”

Theatre 5 I have never considered Belfast a city of 300,000 or whatever. Rather there is a neutral city centre and the River Lagan divides East from West. Arterial routes from the City Centre go north, east, south and west…..effectively  making four charge towns. It is NOT just about the Troubles. I was conscious that West Belfast was MY town and that other areas of the town ….Belmont, Dundonald, Ardoyne, Greencastle were just destination signs on a red bus.

I was conscious that famous people lived in West Belfast. Gerry Fitt (politician) was the MP But it was a short walk across Millfield to look at his house. James Kelly (journalist) lived on the Glen Road. Actors like Lily Begley, J G Devlin and Joe Tomelty were familiar faces. And boxer Johnny Caldwell and Jim McCourt were also well known.

I am far too old to know boxers like Michael Conlon and singer Brian Kennedy.

Somehow it is acceptable that we know OLDER famous people. But being five years old and kicking a ball with an older boy who goes on to London and to,play for Norn Iron is strange. Or going to the teenage ceili in Clonard Hall with a guy who becomes a senior person in Sinn Fein….or be a near neighbour to a young man who becomes a playwright.

Frankly I have never rated Martin Lynchs plays. Most if not all plays about Norn Iron…whether by Sam Thompson, Graham Reid or Martin Lynch are cliches. Yet fair play to Martin Lynch lionised in New York and London as some kinda authentic, primitive voice of West Belfast.

His play ” History of the Troubles According to My Da” is probably his best work. And well wort seeing. It will get a re-run at the Grand Opera House next month. It is actually a good idea….adequately written.

My sons now in their mid to late twenties will have heard my stories for maybe twelve years. Hard to get them interested in 1999 but in 2013 they are hungry for stories.

Martin Lynchs big idea was to recognise this phenomenon and write a play. Fair play to him. Watching the AUDIENCE watch “Accordin To My Da” is actually more fun than the Play.

The people in the audience from Turf Lodge recognise the scenario. The folks from the Malone Road….fur coat and no knickers….don’t get it. But they WANT to get it. Conflict Resolution works the same way.

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SDLP Communications Manager…Job Opportunity?

The SDLP ar advertising for a Communications Manager to head up their Media Team.

I know what you are all thinking. Why have they not simply approached…me. Well obviously I am more than capable and would do it or half the Kings Ransom offered in the “package”. In fact, I have a bus pass and can travel for FREE so they don’t even have to pay me expenses except the small amount I will fraudulently claim. As I understand from the Leveson Inquiry…journos like to claim some dodgy expenses. It doesn’t effect their Ethics…apparently.

Well the SDLP have ignored me and put the Job out to tender. They are looking for someone with ten years experience in Print or Broadcast Media. This …you will note…rules me out. But it invites another “Poacher” to turn “Gamekeeper”. In Norn Iron EVERYTHING is about Public Relations. the one true (no pun intended) growth industry. The Norn Iron Government employs more journalists than all of Norn Irons newspapers combined.

Journalists are the very worst people to deal with Journalists. I declare an interest. In late 2010, before I joined the SDLP, I applied to be an intern (the worlds oldest) in the SDLP. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job. And that is a great pity…because I thought I might enjoy handing out press releases to Martina Purdy (with optional flirting) and witholding the latest press release from Eamonn Mallie until he supplied some ID. Eamonn Mallie does not strike me as self-regarding or in any way pompous and he would have seen the funny side.

About a year ago, I mentioned my failed internship application to a senior SDLP person and explained I had all the aptitudes to work in the SDLP Press Office. His reaction was to say “oh Jesus…no”. Which was lacking encouragement.

But maybe SDLP are playing it smart. They get to pay a lucky ex journo a Kings Ransom and they get me blogging for them…for free.

But the job specifies TEN years experience…and this effectively rules out anyone under thirty years of age. That is disappointing. The SDLP has at least eight people under that age on the Party Executive.

So who will get the job? I suppose it will be a local based journalist and that could be interesting because the criteria includes a commitment to SDLP…so the pool of applicants with ten years journalistic experience seems limited. To make a short list of say five people from ten journalist applicants….then their “closet” politics would surely have to be known to SDLP insiders.

A thought occurs. I am an  occasional SDLP member. I publish a Blog which says nice things about the SDLP. I have presented theSLP cease on different sites. Will the SDLP Executive invite me on to the Panel interviewing candidates?

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My Big Fat Tory Funeral

I have taken to Muy bed with my iPad.

The scourge of retirement is that TV is pretty awful. Right now, all channels seem to rest showing a new Reality show called “My Big Fat Tory Funeral”. Big budget for it and they have been tempting us with previews for over a week. Chavs from Essex and Chelsea will love it. An excellent opportunity for Ant and Dec to showcase their talents…but the gsee has gone to Eamonn Holmes.

Seethats the difference between St Malachys and St Mary’s. Holmes is an alumnus of St Malachys and will clearly do anything to get on TV.

The pilot for “My Big Fat Tory Funeral” seems a bit long. But not even fans of this kinda thing will be thinking that it can be turned into a series.

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LetsGetAlongerism Interupted

We live in a decade which Conflict Resolutionists and LetsGetAlongerists aided and abetted by Historians have mapped out for us. It is The Decade of Centenaries, a series of events to show how much nationalists and unionists have in common and we can all live together in social engineered happiness.

Fortunately it is not working out very well. Norn Iron Football is often hawked by LetsGetAlongerists as one of the great unifying factors in our Society. This is of course complete nonsense.

Cliftonville FC in North Belfast has just won the Norn Iron Championship. Thru absolutely no fault of their own, in the last few decades, the club has been adopted by the city’s nationalist tribe. For much longer Linfield FC has been the team of choice of the loyalist tribe.League games are poorly attended. The quality is awful. But maybe at most 1,500 people (pathetic) attend games. It would be much less off it was actually about FOOTBALL but it’s about Tribalism and an excuse to hurl abuse at other tribes. The myth of  “togetherness” was well and truly exploded when Cliftonville supporters were seen to be involved in the carrying of a coffin draped in black and with a witch’s hat…a reference to Margaret Thatcher…and at Saturdays match against Linfield (Cliftonville clinched the title) obscene chants were exchanged. Welcome to Norn Iron.

Meanwhile the Unholy Trinity of LetsGetAlongerists, Conflict Resolutionists and “Historians” are working out how we should commemorate the Battle of the Somme. It will be one off those “days for everyone”. Those Ulster Division guys of the Ulster Volunteer Force belong to us all. Complete and utter crap of course. This year marks the centenary of the foundation of the Ulster Volunteer Force, set up as a paramilitary force to oppose Irish Home Rule but made”respec table” by fighting for Britain in the First World War. The paramilitary UVF was re-formed in 1966 and the first killings of the modern Troubles (John Scullion and Peter Ward) were committed by them that same year.

So in East Belfast this past weekend flags inscribed “UVF 1913” and featuring three unionist leaders of the time have appeared….along the route of a march to celebrate the event. The march will take place next weekend and the organisers claim that there is no linkage to the modern UVF. Most people will not accept that claim. Welcome to Norn Iron.

Yes ….Welcome to the REAL NORN IRON. Not the Norn Iron of Our Rory, Titanic, MTV Award Shows.

The Unholy Trinity have thankfully lost control of the agenda. They might well claim that their plans have been hijacked by tribal extremists. In fact a more honest observation is that the tribal extremes are holding on to their own History and resisting the hijack attempts by LetsGetAlongerists.

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