SDLP Youth Conference: The Campbells Are Coming

There are two images from the SDLP Youth Conference in Derry that I will not easily forget. One is Gregory Campbell…fairly outspoken DUP MP for East Derry walking into An Culturlann and the second image is the collective double-take of the “regulars” in the small restaurant.

Gregory Campbell was there to take part in the Conferences “set piece” the Panel Discussion. I am not a big fan of SDLP listening to “other voices” but in this case it seemed a reasonable exception. As the Conference pack proclaimed “Mol an Oige….” It is perhaps a pretty decent sign that senior politicians from other parties are prepard to give up some time on a Saturday morning.

Michael Copeland MLA (UUP) and Professor Peter Shirlow travelled up from Belfast. In the spirit of these things, people are not quite “off the record” but are prepared to be open …and it is therefore only right that I be respectful of their contributions.

The theme was the Good Friday Agreement …..Michael Copeland voted against the Agreement. He was not actually a member of the UUP at the time. He had been a part time officer in UDR, his wife a member of the RUC (injured often on duty) and his view now is that “we are all in this together” and he spoke movingly about the social problems in East Belfast.

Peter Shirlow spoke about two kinds of alienation…one of the disenfranchised as Mr Copeland had mentioned but one of “identity” . The Conflict affects the mental well-being of people who had not even lived during it. Of course he spoiled it all by mentioning the Life and Times Survey.

Joe McHugh TD for Donegal North East thought that we are too obsessed with “institutions”. Katherine McCloskey, a PhD Politics student and member of SDLP said that discussions such as the one taking place did not involve the people being talked about and perhaps surprisingly (she is a Teaching Assistant at QUB) said that politics students are not much interested in …Politics.

For Gregory Campbell the Good Friday Agreement was a mistake. It had made no difference in working class communities (a very good anecdote illustrated this) and had divided people into pro and anti Agreement camps.

Conall McDevitt stated that the “real” division is between the “haves and have nots” but is committed to the Good Friday Agreement. The GFA is “ours” and I think he was speaking both in terms of the SDLP AND Norn Iron. He believes that Nationalism ” needs to change” and should be having a conversation with itself.

The nature of a six-person Panel is that it leaves no time for questions. Just two were taken. Where will be in ten years time?

Michael Copeland is pessimistic. There is trouble brewing in the back streets….with young people. He does not want a Future determined by “date of birth and postcode”. He fears de-stabalisation. Gregory Campbell wants no big announcements….”steady as she goes”. For Conall, Irish Unity will be based on a federal module. Nationalists should not downplay their “northern” experience.

Peter Shirtlow pointed out that there is no Dublin Ministry that is actively working on Irish Unity. The old West Germany had such a Ministry working on German unification long before the Berlin Wall fell.

The second question was on Integrated Education. Joe McHugh could not think it could be seperated from Integrated Housing. Conall McDevitt said that the Eleven Plus was a success in its day. Michael Copeland spoke movingly of his own familys experience. But perhaps Gregory Campbell nailed it with Integrated Education not being the answer…nor was Segregated Education. Integrated Education had been feared as social engineering but the fear has largely gone. He emphasised Parental Choice.

So what have we learned about all this…..well Michael Copeland really cares about people. Gregory Campbell thinks the same way that I do (cue LetsGetAlongerists saying that this is no surprise). Peter Shirtlows notion of two alienated groups….the disenfranchised poor and the disenfranchised “identity” types. But isnt that what Ive called the Underclass and that ridiculous Overclass (God I cant stand the Overclass with their insufferable crap about being too posh to vote in Norn Iron). And Conalls call for conversations within Nationalism would have more credibility if a Sinn Fein MLA was asked on a Panel at a SDLP Conference. ….have we not heard enough of Davey Adams, Rev Norman Hamilton, Duncan Morrow, Mary Hanafin, Brian Hayes….and that Joanna Tuffy .

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For Those Of You Who Like Weddings

Strange thing….in Derry yesterday…I was taking some photographs in the Bogside and I saw a young woman in a wedding dress walk past the famous mural of Che Guevara. Nothing really unusual in that. My assumption was that she had just got married and was showing off her wedding dress to an elderly house-bound relative.

But as I walked down Shipquay Street I saw another bride on foot……..I went into the Tower Museum (where incidently the Jacobite exhibits have been scaled back) and went to the fifth floor…the roof. A young and very friendly attentandant from the museum was taking photographs of GuildHall Square. Standing on a chair which she could not let me use (Health and Safety reasons) she kindly took some photographs for me. More importantly she explained what exactly was going on. I also took some photographs at ground level.

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It might look like the wedding registry office in the Guild Hall has been overbooked due to a computer problem resulting in every Derry bride being given the same time and date. Or it might look like potential Derry brides have been hereded into the Square to be chosen by eligible men such as myself (Mrs FJH permitting).

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But it was an attempt at a world record …most “brides” in one place….with the Foyle Hospice benefitting from fund-raising.

Still leaving Derry after 5pm……and travelling in a SDLP Youth minibus along Strand Road…..it was still bizarre to see so many groups of “brides” in the pubs.

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Ireland Is A Real Place (Written 2006)

How Far Does The Case of Ireland demonstrate that an essential part of nationalism is remembering and forgetting?

There is a cliché that the Irish forget nothing in history and the English remember nothing in history. It is no less true because it is an old cliché. There has always been an odd relationship between Ireland and England . The buzz words from the Major-Reynolds Downing Street Agreement (December 1993) spoke of totality of relationships but the relationship is founded on the fact that in British eyes, Ireland has been “a problem”. In generations of Irish eyes, Britain is “the problem”.

All countries have an element of the “imagined” about them. There is something arbitrary (even Luck) about the existence of “nation states”. The United Nations website lists 191 members, the International Olympic Committee lists 203 members and FIFA the world body governing football has 207 members. Even these figures are misleading. Nations are born (Timor), die ( Czechoslovakia ), are re-born ( Estonia ), are still in labour ( Palestine ) and some die in infancy (Biafra) and some are aborted ( Kurdistan ).

By any standard, Ireland exists. But the UN website shows some nations have never had to “prove” their existence, the so called great colonial powers of France and Britain while other nations have in their history ( Algeria and India ) had to prove their existence by spilling their blood, their right to exist denied by…..coincidently France and Britain . Indeed my own unscientific count of the UN member states shows at least forty five countries that were at one stage part of the British Empire and most owe their presence in the United Nations to a de-colonisation process insisted on by the United Nations and relunctantly agreed by the colonial powers.

Does BRITAIN exist? Well clearly it does. No nation is imaginary but is Britain imagined as the anthropologists would have us believe? Well the alternative national anthem ” Jerusalem ” (based on William Blake’s poem) speculates that Jesus Christ walked on ” England ‘s green and pleasant land”. Much beloved as the song is at the Albert Hall, Twickenham and Women’s Institute conferences, it is I submit an anthem that is not so much based on imagination as total delusion. If Jesus was indeed in England he would have been deported as a failed asylum seeker. It is no less delusional than an obscure Greek aristocrat donning a kilt and being reborn as the Duke of Edinburgh, an economic migrant perhaps.

The case of Ireland is different. Over several generations the Irish have been asked to prove their existence as a people and to prove the right of their nation to exist. It follows that in drawing up the proof, some evidence is more convincing than other evidence. It has on occasions been necessary to spice up the dossier.

Clearly there is an island called Ireland visible from satellites in space. And the weather maps from outer space don’t have artificial borders. As any nationalist, tongue in cheek “knows” if this situation is good enough for God, it should be good enough for everyone. As any loyalist knows, satellite weather maps without a border is a BBC conspiracy.

The anthropologists tell us that Irish symbols are ……..symbols. Well we knew that. The point is surely what is symbolised. The green, white and orange flag symbolises peace between two factions (Pearse and others in 1916 would argue that the division was fostered). Clearly the peace is aspirational rather than real but should we forget that its three stripes symbolise Egality, Liberty and Fraternity? Is it not worth remembering that the man who first unveiled that flag in 1848 (Thomas F Meagher) was sentenced to death for sedition, commuted to transportation?

I recall aged 12, spending my lunch hour with other boys looking at this exotic flag in a shop window in Divis Street Belfast . It was a curiosity. And I recall a similar lunch hour next day after the RUC (police) from Hastings Street had removed it. Should the Flags and Emblems Act be forgotten? Did not that Act bestow on the Irish flag a particular symbolic power representing an aspect of freedom. The alternative British flag had flown over the governors residences, town halls, slave markets, prisons and execution yards of maybe forty five countries.

Of course the violent removal of that flag in October 1964 does not seem to have rid ” Northern Ireland ” of the Irish flag, although strangely I have still to see it fly outside the Europa Hotel, even though most of the hotels guests are from the Republic. Petty insults such as “Colonel” Jimmy Hughes commenting on the sectarian Twelfth Parade with licence fee money and that irritating deliberate BBC snub to the Irish National Anthem by delaying “going over” to Lansdowne Road until the last bars of the offending song had faded. A process of remembering and forgetting but the older I get the more I want to remember.

While any history of Ireland prior to the Act of Union is useful as a scene setting exercise (the Anglo Irish, the Cromwellian Wars, the Penal Laws, the United Irishmen) I believe that the “real” history can only begin in post Enlightenment times and I believe that Irish nationalism is a local product of that Enlightenment. From 1848 Hungarians, Poles, Italians and Chile , Mexico and Argentina (where coincidently names of honour are O’Higgins, Reilly and Brown).were among many peoples clamouring for additional freedom. The Irish were part of that movement.

The philosophy of Democracy and Republicanism cannot be separated from the romantic notion of Nationalism. This idealism is not merely about what the heart feels its about what logic dictates.

As we all know England won the World Cup in 1966. It is very unlikely that they will select a team for 2006 based on the hereditary principle where the sons of the winners of 1966 play in the team. Its no way to select a football team but seemingly appropriate for a head of state. Now as in the mid 1800s the hereditary principle applies and the British Head of State is a monarch. Traditional but absurd. British liberals still found Charter groups and sign open letters to the Guardian but they have never in the modern world raised their heads above the parapets.

Britains colonial past and Irelands imagined status engages British people much more than it engages the Irish. The BNP rejoice in it and Conservatives mostly do (sure there were “victims” but hey get over it is the attitude). Liberals like to distance themselves from it and salve their angst by believing in some kind of notion that deep down “We” (British and Irish are all the same) while some on the Left take it a step further and believe in a different kind of Imperialism that was born and died in Moscow.

Britain still has a (recently enfeebled) hereditary system in the House of Lords and remains a country where it is still possible to be appointed (as an honour) to its Legislature.

While much is made of the sectarian nature of Irish (particularly Northern) politics, a convenient veil is drawn across the institutionalised sectarianism of the British state, a Protestant Head of State, an established Protestant Church (even in predominantly Catholic Ireland of the mid 1800s) and the ultimate absurdity of a Church… .any Church being governed by a Head of State.

The point of no return of Irish nationalism lies in the Famine years. If a ruling power treats a part of its ” united kingdom ” in an unequal way, the ruling power simply loses the right to govern. It is unlikely Yorkshire would have treated in the same way.

British liberals will argue that the good folk of Yorkshire would have had no interest in ruling Ireland . But I think this overstates the social concerns of the average Yorkshireman to the idea of Empire. Yorkshire regiments such as the Green Howards have served in Ireland and the (arguably) worst Secretary of State for Northern Ireland Roy Mason was a Yorkshire miner who had a hobby designing neckties for Army regiments.

While it is true to say that many Irish regiments were recruited for the British Empire , I think this is much more to do with the expedient need to eat and have a roof over your head or simple acquiescence rather than enthusiasm for British imperialism which is at best patronising and at worst racist.

While it is true to say that there has always been free movement of people between Ireland and Britain in post independence days, it is too easy to forget that there was no free movement of people between the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland until the mid 1970s. For most of the years of the northern state, a licence was required for a resident of the Republic to come and live and work in the Six Counties.

Certainly the entire Nationalist enterprise is littered with inconsistencies, notably the Gaelic language. Yes it was revitalised by “British” education and “British” railways. And the First National Language of Ireland doubles as the First National Hypocrisy.

As Ireland grew in prosperity and formed new partnerships in Europe , it has become fashionable to see Irish nationalism as old fashioned or too closely linked by comfortable Southerners to the Northern Ireland Troubles. The suspension of the military parade by the Irish Army lest it upset the British has now thankfully been reversed in 2006. It always had a bizarre Basil Fawlty “don’t mention the war” aspect.

That same army has lost 85 personnel in United Nations missions, many of them part of the decolonisation process, where the Irish forces were seen as more acceptable as belonging to a former colony rather than an imperial power.

Yes, Irish nationalism is a process of remembering and forgetting and I would add forgiving. But I caution against a well intentioned political correctness with as many inconsistencies and half truths. The peace process obliges us to accept equality for the Irish language on the basis that we must accept the existence of Ulster-Scots, a risible concept. The process obliges us to accept a mantra that we are all right and all wrong. It preaches a ying and yang credo where we are all to blame, that we all must take ownership of the problem. It is as seductive as it is wrong. While compromise is clearly desirable, it is not desirable to split the difference between what is mostly right (the Irish position) and what is mostly wrong (the British view).

We have learned to accept the ultimate imagined state that there is a peace process, where Republican paramilitaries don’t smuggle fuel, where Loyalist paramilitaries don’t smuggle drugs and where Alliance Party members don’t get appointed to quangos.

Every year at either Twickenham or Lansdowne Road the pageant of the Anglo-Irish conflict is re-enacted. The aristocracy of the English backs and the roundheads in the English scrum come face to face with the Wild Geese raparees/cavalry  in the Irish back line and the terrorists in the Irish pack and they (the English) don’t seem to get it….they think it’s a rugby match.

George Orwell and latterly John Major defined England as warm beer, cricket on the village green and middle aged spinsters cycling to the village church. And Eamonn De Valera saw Ireland in frugal comfort with sturdy children, athletic youths and comely maidens laughing and dancing at the crossroads.

Certainly Irish nationalism is in part about remembering as theres a lot worth remembering. To some extent its about forgetting but theres really nothing that should be forgotten.

Its acceptable for academics to compare Orange with Green, Loyalists with Nationalists, but in issues of Imperialism and Republicanism the comparison is Evil versus Good and to go down that road means losing a moral compass.

But ultimately it’s a matter of choice…….oppression or freedom? Middle aged spinsters on bicycles or comely maidens dancing at the Crossroads? It is as the Amricans say a no brainer.

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SDLP Youth Conference: Panel Discussion

Interesting Panel Discussion about which I might blog tomorrow. Pretty tired tonight.065

Michael Copeland MLA (UUP …East Belfast), Joe McHugh TD (FG…Donegal North East), Gregory Campbell MP (DUP…East L*****derry), Daniel Wray McCrossan (SDLP Executive member Strabane) Conall McDevitt MLA (SDLP…South Belfast), Katherine McCloskey (SDLP member in North Belfast), Professor Peter Shirtlow (QUB Politics Dept).

Yes…THAT Gregory Campbell ….fair play to him for going to An Cultúrlann in the Bogside. I kinda wondered how many times he would use the word “Londonderry” but to honest he only used it once when introducing himself as the MP for that East Lon……no sorry I cant bring myself to say it.

If I was a blogger on Slugger O’Toole, I would probably call this “outreach”.

 

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SDLP Youth Conference

Some photographs from SDLP Youth Conference. The seemingly empty chairs are the Belfast delegation who had just arrived and were getting accredited at back of Culturlann.

059 Colum Eastwood MLA

060 Mark Durkan MP

061 Patsy McGlone MLA

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The Irish Way Of Death

The rituals of Death and Funerals are something I never really understood until January 1986, when my own father died. I never really appreciated that extending a hand and saying “I am sorry for your loss” could actually help. Having spent the 1970s attending too many funerals, of elderly uncles and aunts as well as Troubles victim-friends and neighbours, I just did not “get” it. Yet a true Irishman is someone who is defined as someone who will miss his brothers wedding by dutifully attending a strangers funeral.

In any culture, Death, Grief and Funerals is an important time. In the Middle East, they bury people on the day after death. Here in Ireland, it is usually three days. In England it seems to be weeks. In USA, Death seems to be the ultimate taboo. It is maybe a cliche that it is the one subject not discussed in polite society. Arguably, a decade ago the comedy-drama “Six Feet Under” broke that taboo.

In writing this, I am conscious that talk about Death…not entirely seriously and not entirely frivilously will possibly offend. That is not my intention. My belief has always been that none of us get out of here alive. We may as well make the most of it.

Roselawn Earlier this week, I attended two family funerals. I picked up this leaflet at Roselawn Cremtorium. Although I have attended maybe four cremations, all were “Protestant” and none were family. As far as I know Roselawn, situated in the heart of loyalist Castlereagh is the only crematorium in Norn Iron …our tradition, especially with Catholics is for burial rather than cremation. The leaflet, produced by the British Cremation Society and frankly rather patronising and just a tad offensive. It accuses rank and file Catholics of not keeping up with modern Catholic thinking. Having said this, it is fairly accurate on perceived Catholic opposition to Cremation….that it was linked to nineteenth century secularism.

Yet talking to some elderly members of my extended family, its clear that some people are uncomfortable with Cremation. Not entirely a Catholic thing…I think its tradition as much as anything. We all have at least one home cemetry in my case spread over County Tyrone and County Armagh. People respect their family plots.

I am not good with graves. I rarely visit my family graves. I do not like the village in which my parents are buried. I feel no attachment with Cemetry Sunday and on the rare occasions that I visit ….I am inclined to think of Death rather than Life.

On the other hand, on the many occasions that my parents come into my mind…I inevitably think about Life.

I WANT to be cremated. I have felt like this since I was a child and saw an episode of The Twilight Zone(or was it Alfred Hitchcock Hour?) in which a man tried to escape prison by being buried alive….which worked well until his accomplices did not show up to dig him up. Of course since then I have heard many stories of people being buried alive…not least the true story of the Lurgan woman who “died once and was buried twice”.

As an adult, I dont fear being buried alive. It is after all 2013. But I think I prefer Cremation. A dead body is of course the shell in which a loved one lived….yet burying it six feet under is not to my taste. To me speeding up the whole ashes to ashes process by using a furnace is a better option. Scattering ashes to the wind at least leaves the impression that the body is everywhere rather than six feet under a muddy field.

Frankly my wife and sons at their first cremation did not “like” it But they will comply with my wishes. Actually on reflection, I dont mind. I will hardly complain. Funerals…the rite of passage should be about the bereaved NOT the deceased so whatever is best for them.

The actual cremation was a little bit impersonal…although it had followed a highly personal funeral Mass in a church several miles from Roselawn.

But travelling to and from Roselawn it was interesting to discuss my own funeral….although I have to say my sons seem to be the biggest cheapskates I have ever met. A cardboard box seems a bit tacky. On the other hand , the suggestion of balloons and strippers seems….over-expensive. My elder son has pointed out that this could be quite tasteful…the strippers will be wearing black. Appropriate music for my cremation …Johnny Cash singing “I Fell In To A Ring Of Fire” ….and while my wife puts the urn containing my ashes in a place of honour on the mantle while one of my daughters-in-law uses it as an ash tray. I could actually put on weight after I die.

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Stat Attack

Some interesting statistics from this Blog.

Over the weekend a milestone will be reached in terms of “Views”. But coincidently the weekend should also show that the ” Views” for the First four months of 2013 will exceed the total for 2012.

Interestingly ” Views” from United States now exceed those from Ireland…

April 2013 will be the best month. The best five months have been all of those from December 2012. …but February 2013 (I was in Texas for part of the month) was actually the lowest of the five.

April 2012 was probably the breakthru month. It followed an interesting time which included being referenced on Slugger O’Toole (those were the days my friend, we thought they’d never end). The marching season (also referenced on Slugger) was another breakthru and the Flegs Dispute in December 2012 also added readers.

Texas certainly added American readers. But perhaps the biggest surprise was that Margaret Thatcher was actually good for business.

I used to “plug” this blog on Twitter but I deleted the Twitter account some months ago and I rarely post on the politics.ie site and my Facebook activity is now much reduced. So I am kinda pleased. Mrs FitzjamesHorse has never really liked the Template I use …so maybe a re-vamp is in order but changing it looks complicated.

But most credit of course goes to the readership and “commenters”. Thank you.

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Brass Neck And “No Neck”

I dont of course buy newspapers. That kinda thing only encourages “journalists” but I am indebted to a small restaurant in County Tyrone for the complimentary copy of ” The Sunday Life”. I love Norn Iron Sunday papers as they introduce us to many loyalists with interesting “nick names”. Sometimes the reason for the nickname is not immediately apparent. This cannot be said of “No Neck”. He does have a head and he does have shoulders but there is no visible support system between them.

” No Neck” is photographed on the front page of the newspaper along with three other men, soberly dressed marching to commemorate the centenary of the founding of the Ulster Volunteer Force in 1913. They are all named and identified as UVF men. One was a member of the Shankill Butchers Gang. The Organisers of the parade had claimed that it had nothing to do with the “modern” incarnation of the UVF.

But there are connexions. A minutes silence was held for UVF over the past hundred years…which seems ambiguous for an organistion which offically ceased to exist after the end of the First World War. More accurately it operated as a murder gang to 1922 and many of its members joined the RUC or B Specials, the pramilitary wing of the Orange State.

Repectable Unionists like to emphasise the ” For King and Country” aspect of its existence in 1914-1918 rather than the ” For God and Ulster” aspect of 1913 when it was formed to resist Irish Home Rule. It WAS a paramilitary organisation and the “re-formed” UVF founded in 1966 clearly modelled itself on the original paramilaries.

It would be naive of the organisers of Saturdays event not to expect as the The Sunday Life curiously puts it….that the modern UVF would not “latch on” to the event. I think it was a foregone conclusion that any event commemorating 1913 and organised by East Belfast community workers would not take place without “No Neck” and his friends showing up.

According to The Sunday Life, the UVF showing up on Saturday was a show of strength as they expect many of their leaders to be arrested soon…as Gary Haggerty a former member, now in witness protection is now fully de-briefed by Police and arrests are imminent.

You might expect me to be disappointed that the historic event marking the centenary of the UVF has been hi-jacked by the modern UVF. Actually I think that the presence of such people actually adds to, rather than undermines the AUTHENTICITY?

This is the problem with our so-called Decade of Centenaries. LetsGetAlongerists and Conflict Resolutionists are sanitising historic events to draw the sting from them. And to create a sense of “shared history”. Indeed the Battle of the Somme Centenary in 2016 will be the centre-piece of the Decade and the whole sham reconciliation process.

Some will accuse the modern UVF of hi-jacking Saturdays event to mark the centenary of the old UVF. This is of course nonsense. A series of centenaries over the next ten years have been hi-jacked by Conflict Resolutionists to further their agenda. They must be resisted.

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Happy Birthday Stratagem!

Breithla Shona to all my friends at Stratagem. Fifteen years old. How on Earth did we get along without them? They had a wee party at somewhere called The MAC which is one of those new fancy places in the Cathedral Quarter of Belfast. I cant believe I was not invited.

They celebrated in style with a dinner and a panel discussion on Political Drama. Would we like to see a West Wing style political drama about Norn Iron politics. Oddly another LetsGetAlongerist organisation the British-Irish Institute had a similar all day discussion at the Ulster Museum two years ago. It was put to panels of writers, dramatists, painters and artists that they had perhaps a “duty” to talk up Norn Iron…show the GOOD NEWS. This was a premise rejected by theassembled artistic community but they scoffed the very pleasant food and drink paid for by the British-Irish Institute.

Stratagem and Quintin Oliver did rather well out of their birthday publicity-wise. Two of the panelists, including Tim Loane (who was also at the British-Irish seminar) got to discuss the whole political drama question on UTV with Paul Clark. Shamefully Stratagem was not mentioned during the discussion. And Quintin himself features in a blog on Slugger O’Toole (no relation to Stratagem) written by an occasional Sluggerite who was a guest at the MAC. Did I mention that I was not even invited?

Not that the author of the Slugger piece, who is incidently a former General Secretary of the Alliance Party had to go far to give his birthday wishes to Stratagem. He is, I understand attached to the “Northern Ireland Foundation” which I think still has its offices at the old library building on the Donegall Road in Belfast.

But I think that we should all be clear that Stratagem, Slugger O’ Toole, Norn Iron Foundation and the Alliance Party have completely different agendas.

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“I Promise To Pay The Bearer”

I am…despite the accusation of  a leading Manchester City fan and LetsGetAlongerist…a very even-tempered man. Indeed, apart from a few Victor Meldrew years, in my early fifties, it takes a lot for me to get into “wee pointy head” mode. As I have always said we all get to outlive our fears (Dr Phil said this on the Oprah Show) and at my advanced age, there is little that can work me up into a frenzy.

But a visit to the Bank  has convinced me that I can STILL get a wee pointy head.

In Norn Iron we have four High Street Banks. And all of them (like Scottish banks) have a concession from THE Bank of England to print their own STERLING notes. Id guess that most of the bank notes in circulation in Norn Iron are actually produced by Northern Bank, Ulster Bank, Bank of Ireland and First Trust. Certainly most of the notes coming out of ATMs are locally produced. This is obviously confusing for “tourists”….they are STERLING legal tender. But those of us who travel to England find that our locally produced banknotes are not accepted. We always get Bank of England banknotes BEFORE we travel. Its just one of those quirky aspects of life here.

Yet I am left with a wee pointy head because of an incident in a local bank. I have never changed by bank since the year I started working. In 1979 I moved my account to another branch near to me. And in 1982, shortly before getting married …it was updated to a joint account. So in its current form, we have been banking with the same branch and bank….even though we are now nearer to a different town.

So in our nearest town, I went INSIDE the branch of OUR bank to use the ATM facility. I took out £100….five nice twenty pound notes issued in the name of the Bank. No big deal…except that the only thing left to do in town was to get into a taxi to go home (fare £4.50) …so I thought Id get one of these notes changed to four five pound notes.

This would normally be a matter of routine. But the cashier asked me if I was a customer of the bank. She would have to CHARGE me otherwise. So I handed over my bank card…and I saw her use a keyboard. What on earth was she up to? So as she handed me over four rather dirty looking five pound notes, I referred her to the statement her boss…the Chief Executive of the Bank on their own banknotes. ” I promise to pay the bearer on demand the sum of twenty pounds”.

Not quite satisfied with her explanation, I approached the Customer Services desk. I explained the situation. I have four more twenty pound notes And they all say that the bearer will be paid TWENTY POUNDSS sterling “on demand”. There is no reference to the Bearer having to be a customer of the Bank. Ah its a tracking system…the cashiers need to know who is getting the money given to them that morning. And they need to know who is handing over money to them.

Not exactly happy with Customer Services, I spoke to the Assistant Manager. she could not see the problem. To her …the fact that I merely owned the banknote was in itself evidence that the bank had honoured its committment to pay me twenty pounds. But hold on….they will only pay bearers who are bank customers. That seems a bit unfair if I pass their banknote to my son, who is not a customer.

Inevitably they gave me the Complaints phone number…direct line…and no satisfaction. Their banknotes are after all, IOUs….but strangely only in a qualified way. I also spoke unsatisfactorily to the Banks Press Office. And noT much satisfaction from my own BRanch. The best I could extract was that there is an “over-ride” …you can actually get up to £50 without problem.

But the overall question is…what exactly is the value of a IOU which clearly doesnt “do what it says on the tin”.

The information I have been getting so far….and it aint over because I have a wee pointy head about it…..is confusing and contradictory.

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