Royally Screwed

I do not like rich people. The main reason is that I am not rich.

I do not like Monarchy or the Royals. It is more a philosophical dislike. But there are trappings that I like. For example, I quite like the idea of a footman, funky squeezing toothpaste out of a tube while I stand in the bathroom with my toothbrush extended.

Bliss. Never having to do anything for myself….well I am a married man so I am kinda used to doing nothing for myself.

The thing about being rich…mega rich even….is that Money is an aphrodisiac. The very best aphrodisiac. As a Premiership footballer, a rock star, a property tycoon, Royal…..not to mention a few castles, a New Mexico ranch, a ski lodge in New Hampshire and an island in the West Indies and a private plane, I could be quite a catch.

As we know, rich people can’t get into Heaven. Those of us who live wholesome Boy Meets Girl, Boy marries Girl….we get a heavenly reward

Those who live their lives like it was a never ending orgy, on a line between the socially unacceptable, the taboo, the illegal, well their after life might be different.

All facilitated by being surrounded by people (servants) who are trained to divert their eyes and by people (the population of the entire world) that the mega rich are trained not to notice.

It is not unknown for previous generations of royals to live like there is no consequence to their actions.

I can actually remember “Prince” Andrew being born in 1960. He was second in line to the English throne. Charles was the heir, Andrew was the spare.

But really his history is one of being increasingly irrelevant. Behind Charles, William, Charlotte, another one, Harry, Archie, a wee girl…Randy Andy as he was known in his 20s ….is no longer a “spare”. He is just “surplus”.

And therein lies a problem. A “Prince” is meant to be 21. A “Prince” is not meant to be 61. Dashing young man to dirty old man in just four decades.

Andy’s Troubles…won’t bring down the English monarchy. The institution and family are too well liked by too many people. For just as many people, the Monarchy is a sniffy Guardian column or a punch line on “Mock the Week” but the point is that English republicans have no clout.

so Andy’s problems are just a sideshow. Accused of a crime in a (civil) American Court, he appears to have few options.

He can fiercely deny the charges in a courtroom. He may well be innocent but even in innocence, a lifestyle that many would consider debauched.

He can settle with his accuser out of court. But even with no liability admitted and non disclosure agreements, paying out a large sum of money as recompense for a crime that was not committed.

But the curious mix of “monarchy” and “family”is always absurd. To preserve an institution, individuals are cast aside to live in luxury in no man’s land.

There are moments in Royalty…..weddings coronations, funerals, when the constitution and family coincide.

Andrew could become a non-person on two levels.

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4 Responses to Royally Screwed

  1. benmadigan says:

    Andrew is no longer a “surplus” and has become a non-Royal person.
    His mother has stripped him of his patronages and honorary military titles (which she conferred) and has announced he will be defending his case as a private citizen.

  2. hoboroad says:

    Not looking good for Boris even his allies in the EuroLooney wing of his own party are turning on him. I wonder if the UK is about to have its first non white prime minister. Or is it going to have its first Republican prime minister? Or maybe a spy for Israel?

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