As part of the whole normalisation process which we must accept…the G8 Summit is coming to County Fermanagh next week. To be honest I prefer that whole Titanic crap and that Derry City of Culture nonsense. Possibly even the MTV Award Show which was more normalisation rubbish. Call me crazy but Id rather listen to Justin Bieber than David Cameron and Id rather look at Selina Gomez than Angela Merkel.
Yet we must have the G8 to show we are normal and so that David Cameron and Peter Robinson can welcome the worlds leaders to ” County Fermanagh in the United Kingdom” while Martin McGuinness looks suitably embarrassed. And we must have the photo-opportunity of the Japanese Prime Minister (too lazy to look his name up on Wikipedia) having a glass of Bushmills in a pub in Enniskillen, the Italian Prime Minister (whover he is) banging a Lambeg drum at the Marble Arch caves, Barak Obama signing the visitors book at the Ulster-American Folk Park in County Tyrone before he pays tribute to the many Ulster-Scots who played such a crucial role in blah blah John Dunlap….blah blah Davey Crockett….blah blah Archbishop Hughes….blah blah American GIs in WW2…. blah blah Peace Process….delightful display of Scottish Country Dancing and Irish Dancing by photogenic children who will win the hearts of the folks back home watching CBS News. Not forgetting Vladimir Putin playing golf and Angela Merkel visiting the Belleek Pottery Factory. If County Monaghan is still twinned with Prince Edward Island, then the Canadian Prime Minister (name available on wikipedia) will go there. Francois Hollande will be swinging a caman (hurling stick) at a sliothar (ball) in Irvinestown.
It is all of course complete and utter BOLLIX. Arlene Foster Minister for Enterprise and herself a Fermanagh woman will be yapping away about the economic boost that G8 will bring. Actually the only benefit will be the money handed over by journalists to local pubs. For the average Norn Iron journalist will think its Christmas, working with CNN, Fux News and the worlds media. So while cash is changing hands, some of it even invoiced, while the worlds leaders are talking about Global Tax Evasion. ….no journalist will be reporting that everything next week is complete and utter BOLLIX.
The only party poopers will be the usual anti- capitalist demonstrators. Leisure centres in Belfast will be makeshift holding centres and special courts will be in session and police officers will be shipped in from England to back up the local PSNI. Throughout Norn Iron, people will be disrupted and schoolchildren asked to go to school two hours earlier. All to prove Norn Iron is a stable society. Normalisation????
Yet all those extra English policemen….could we not just ask them to stick around for an extra month. …to deal with the annual anarchy of Orange marches. I dont suppose that will happen.