Totemic Politics has never been my thing. The American Republicans do it pretty well……..totemic issues such as abortion take on too much importance. How the Republicans FEEL about something has become more important than anything they will actually DO.

Let me quote an old joke that will be familiar to anyone who watched any comic double act on TV in the 1960s. Indeed even then the Audience knew the joke better than the Comics…..it was a way of embracing the Audience….”we are terrible comedians and you are just as funny as we are………Love us”.

Straight Man: I say, I say, I say……who was that lady I saw you with last night.

Comedian: That was no lady……..that was my wife!

Hilarious stuff. …in 1962. It probably does not translate into 2012 when the punch line is “That was no lady…….or indeed gentleman……..that was my partner……..or at the very least a person for whom I have changed my Facebook status to “in a relationship”.

I think it loses something.

I married in 1982. I am glad I did. It is a committment. That was before the word “partner” became so prominent. “Husband” and “Wife” seem very precise and indeed the term “common-law wife” which I often came across in my working career is also very precise. It is a term no longer in use.

In comparison, the word “Partner” seems very imprecise. And people seem to understand this by updating the term to “Life Partner”. I have of course no trouble with the word “partner” when others choose to use it in respect of their own “partners”.

If you introduce your straight or gay “partner” to me, I will have absolutely no problem with it and extend the fullest courtesy. I do have a slight problem when Mrs Fitzjames Horse is referred to as my “partner”. I call her my “wife”. More importantly she calls herself my wife and I think it is reasonable that I expect others to adhere to that simple courtesy.

As Mrs Fitzjames Horse turned up (EARLY!!!) at 11.30am on 1st December 1982……and ran up the aisle dragging her poor father behind her…..just to become Mrs Ftzjames Horse…..then it seems reasonable enough that people refer to her as my wife.

“Partner” is a strange word. I have heard people talk of their “partner” and yet I have heard that partner refer to his “girlfriend”. A case where people are ot quite on the same page. And indeed I have seen people on Facebook who refer to themselves as “being in a relationship” with someone who steadfastly refers to themselves as “single”.

So slightly bizarre moment in the local bank last week when I sat there crossing out the word “partner” and inserting the word “wife”……..well I am retired and have a lot of time on my hands for this kinda thing. And likewise renewing the House Insurance on the phone about a month ago…….”And what about your partner?” said the nice lady………”oh I dont have one” said I……”oh I thought you said you are married”……..”yes I am”.

Which brings me to Gay Marriage. To be honest I have no particular issue one way or the other. I might have been prepared to have a slight “generational” attitude about the nature of marriage but this is actually less important than the issue of “gay rights” …….love and committment.

The SDLP has a policy on the issue (and I think its mostly around the word “marriage”) that it is an issue of individual conscience rather than party policy. The SDLP Youth Group will probably present a motion on the subject at the Annual Conference in November. They will call for “marriage freedom” and those who like attacking the SDLP……..thats you Slugger……will say that the SDLP is split and that the Youth Wing has embarrassed the Party Leadership. Well hardly “split” because its all a bit totemic and the Party Leadership should be cute enough to outflank their own Youth. And as for embarrassment….well it is the role of any political party’s youth wing to do embarrassing things. Indeed I think it was Mark Durkan (Youth Conference March 2011) who said that was part of the role of a Youth Group.

So……..although I believe that it IS a matter of conscience……my thoughts are that I have no problem with Gay Marriage. But is it not slightly odd that for two decades Marriage has been marginalised by Modernity. And now in 2012, Modernity can put Marriage centre stage again.  Gay Marriage can rehabilitate Straight Marriage.